My friend and I play a game where, when we hear song lyrics on the radio that are upsetting, we rewrite the song to be about puppies instead. This game started with “Love me like you do” by Ellie Goulding. (NB: click through these song links at your own risk…we rewrote the songs because we didn’t like what they had to say haha)
I told my friend that the song made me uncomfortable and he suggested that we change it’s perspective to make it better. We didn’t even have to rewrite that song, just reinterpret it from the perspective of a puppy. “Love me like you do, la la love me like you do!” is a very puppy thing to say, because puppies always want to be loved, “What are you waiting for?!”
Then, instead of Tove Lo’s “Talking Body“, we decided to rewrite that song as “Talking Puppy”. “Now if we’re talking puppy! You gotta perfect one, so play with me! If you feed me right, I’ll bark all night, on and on and on…pupppieesss”
My friend (and incidentally my father) hates Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats“, so I conveniently changed this to “Before He Eats (Cheese)”. “And he don’t know…that I dug my claws into the seats of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, peed my name into his leather couch…maybe next time he’ll think before he eats…oh maybe next time he’ll think before he eats…cheese…”
“I mighta saved a little trouble for the next meal…because the next time that he eats….oh you know it won’t be without meeeee…”
And finally, we changed the words to 5 seconds of summer’s “She’s kinda hot” to “She’s a pup, though”
If you have any other songs you’d like to change, go ahead and puppify them and tell me in the comments!!