Enemy, thy name is Vervet Monkey

I expect a lot of readers will find these little jerks cute, but I know the truth, which is that primates in general and monkeys in particular, are total jerks.  I learned this from my experiences working at a zoo, where the primates tortured me on a daily basis, knocking off my glasses, tugging on my hair, and pulling my trousers down.  Jerks.

Since then I’ve had a checkered history with wild primates. I think the howler monkeys of the Neotropics are obnoxious, I regard the spider monkeys with extreme suspicion, and I’m terrified of baboons.  In Kenya, the vervet monkeys were my enemies.  Somehow I think they could smell my distaste of primates and they chased me or ran at me with every opportunity.

This is especially funny because there are few animals in the animal world that I don’t like.  Spiders?  Adorable!  Snakes?  So awesome!  Monkeys?  Get them away from me!!!

Anyway. Enjoy your “cute” monkey photos.  I hope they bring you pleasure.*

Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
I’ve seen the babies ride on top of or below the mamas
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Athletics
Vervet Monkey
Baby jumping
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
He’s sitting up and then…
Vervet Monkey
FLOP, he’s down
Vervet Monkey
The thinking monkey
Vervet Monkey
This is the look he gave me right before he attacked me
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Vervet Monkey
Rough housing for fun
Vervet Monkey

*Just monkeying around 😉

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5 thoughts on “Enemy, thy name is Vervet Monkey

  1. Pingback: I have a(n) (ir)rational fear of primates (that includes you) | standingoutinmyfield

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